Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Knowledge is Power!
Or alternately, a lame title to this post because 'Answers to your Questions' is blah and even more lame. But first, you have to hear this. The Leester arrives home from work yesterday and this is a general rundown of our conversation:

Me: Hiya Hon! how was your day?
Him: My day was good, yours?
Me: No complaints.
Him: I did learn something today though...
Me: You did? And what was it that you learned?
Him: Well, did you know that women talk more than three times as much as men? And that for women, talking a lot releases endorphins that make them happy? So a woman's talking is like being addicted to heroin. You women are just addicted to talking.
Me: Dude. And you learned this where?
Him: Uhh...on my favorite talk radio show.
Me: Yeah, I had kind of guessed as much.
Him: Well, just don't be upset when I don't listen to your your incessant talking or answer your questions, alright? I can say in one word what it takes you at least three to say. Or in your case, three hundred and thirty three. *snicker*
Me: *eye roll* Go sit down, your dinner is almost ready, ass.
Him: *silence as he walks away*
me: mumble mumble mumble *puts strychnine in his dinner*

Men. I tell ya! Are they all like this? the questions!

AW asked: Uhm, how bout you tell us who your favourite blogger is? What is the most unique thing you've found in Florida and what are the biggest misconceptions about Canadians in Florida?

Why Cookie, YOU are, of course! Was there ever any doubt? :P Actually, in answer to this, I have decided to commit a forthcoming post to showing you guys some of my favorite readings. Stay tuned to whenever I decide to stop being a lazy ass and get busy posting all the links for you. Like tomorrow. There, I have committed. I swore I wouldn't do that again but I have. Happy now?!

Some unique things I have noticed about Florida..well, hmmn. I don't know if they are unique to FL or were just unusual compared to what I was used to, so I will answer in that vein, instead; alright? Alright, cool. I'm glad we could agree yet again to do things my way. It is exactly how I prefer it..


No Basements! Of course, it makes perfect sense, the water tables are too high but who in Canada doesn't have a basement?!

The Flora! I was initially amazed by how few palm trees I saw, in ratio to deciduous. It is definitely a misconception to think Florida is all coral colored and nothing but palm trees and sand. The foliage around here is breathtaking and makes me very happy. Everything is rich, lush, green and alive. (Dude! I could have totally been talking about men until I said green. Catch that?)

The smell. That one doesn't get an exclamation point, sorry. Initially when we got here I was amazed at how swampy something could smell, how heavy and humidity-laden the air was. I call it 'eau de alligator piss'. Now, it is something that goes without notice but is invariably the first thing my guests comment on.

The alligators! Dudes. The gators. you don't really realize how far down the food chain a human being can instantly become until you live here. Gators, see my point. I was amazed at how seeing a gator for the first time in the wild (okay, so not the wild, the golf course!) made me feel very small. This thing is totally prehistoric! A direct link to the dinosaurs! And could eat me for dinner right. now. if it wanted to! Gaaah! So what did we do? Whipped out the camera for the photo opp. And when the gator didn't cooperate? The Leester tapped on the head with the ball retriever to get its attention. We come to find out later how fast/far those scaly buggers can move and I had nightmares for a week.

Edited to add: CASE IN POINT.

You remember my whole theory of natural selection post a week or so ago? Yeah, well it would have served us right. Thankfully that gator wasn't particularly hungry, is all I'm gonna say about that.

AW also asked about the biggest misconception Floridians have regarding Canadians. Well, after much thought I have decided that this is best summed up by saying that I have been surprised by how many Americans in general think that we Canadians are entirely foreign. As in, of the 'live in igloos where it is cold all the time, just discovered fire and the wheel, speak a different language, dress differently, look differently, eat different food than them' variety of foreign. It is met with amazement when I tell people that living in Canada is really very much like living in the United States. 'Homogenized, pasteurized, shop at the same stores for the same crap' sort of the same as the United States, for the most part. Yes, there are bridges in Canada! Yes, Canadians celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas! Yes, homosexual marriage is legal! ...*screech!!!!!* Okay, so not the same in ALL regards.

I jest, of course, but you would really be surprised at some of the questions I am asked. Truly.

And besides, there is always THIS plethora of knowledge backing me up.

I could go on and on, but wont. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with 'talking endorphins' and am finally sated. I'll be quiet now. See ya tomorrow.


Anonymous Peggy said...

This post made me laugh. I'd be one of the idiot Floridians that ask the weird Canadian questions for sure.
ha ha

Blogger Attention Whore said...

I appreciate you finally getting your ass to bed so that you could get up and answer my questions.
Flora - meh - talk to my brother the botany major.
Alligators - cute and cuddly - again, I say puss.
Americans on Canadians - someone actually asked you if we have BRIDGES? Jeez

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard the reason places like canada and the northeast have bsements is becuase it gets cold there .. without the basement foundations, the houses would shift when the earth freezes. Places like FL and california (where i live) don't have them becasue they basically aren't needed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try telling our friends that Basketball was invented by a Canadian (in Canada) or that the original Superman comics were written by a Canadian, or that Bell invented the telephone in Canada! All are factual.

Blogger \m/ MadMom \m/ said... husband mentioned the same thing about the talking. i wasnt humored. i think that men would talk more, especially to each other, if they had anything important to say. heheehehe. im from NYC, but i lived in Florida on business for a short while. The gators used to bug me out. in the corporate park i worked in there were a few ponds or whatever that had some gators in it. one day we were walking around there after lunch and we saw a gator. As NY'ers,we are not used to seeing these things so this guy we are with tries to get its attention by throwing an empty soda can at it. it hits the gator and the gator goes under the water. a few minutes later the thing comes shooting out of the water like a bullet towards us. I never ran so fast. Never went down there again. I hear if you are near one you should run in a zig zag away from it.....hope ya never have to find out! Whoa...holy long ass comment ;)

Blogger Dee G. said...

The gators...I know, right? its SCARY!

The link I posted, turns out the guy as the sherrif so duly reported on tv was 'nekked' and amitted that he had been smokin 'the crack' before bein 'ett' by the gator. Only in Florida, I tell ya.

I sat the prodigy down to watch the interview this morning as he ate his honey nut cheerios and said "See, crack kills! Stay away from crack!"

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