Thursday, September 20, 2007
You can find me, all my previous posts and all those yet to come over at:

Goodbye, Blogger, it's been fun!

A Soup Day
Yesterday, it finally felt like the weather was changing. The hot summer days of Florida, slipping away, even just temporarily, and leaving us with a mere high of 84 degrees. A steady drizzle that lasted the entire day, sealing the deal. The sun rising, lazily, long after I got out of bed.

Definitely, a day where a crock of homemade New England clam chowder served with chunks of fresh, crusty bread was in order. A day where it would have been just as nice to stay inside, instead of being out running around.

The clincher to the changing season? A phone call to my Mom in Canada, in which she informed me that they got their first snowfall.

Yes, folks, that's right. It snowed on September 19th, where I used to live.

Remind me, again, why I like it here??

Hahahaha! Some things, I will just never, EVER miss.

Tune in tomorrow, when hopefully you will see the launch of the redesign of this little space of mine.

I am very excited to share the new look with you all!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Ahoy, Me Hearty!
It is International Talk Like A Pirate Day! So, upon meeting and greeting people, be sure you do it with a resounding 'Ahoy!', will you? Because after all, you sure cannot chance offending any of your Pastafarian acquaintances. To do so would be totally politically incorrect. You dare not take the chance at offending their Spaghedeity, or you may face judgement from those oodles and oodles of noodles!

In fact, in honor of this oh so important day, I believe I need to share with you the eight "I'd really rather you didn't's"

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didnt's"
1.) I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
2.) I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
3.) I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
4.) I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
5.) I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.
6.) I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable.
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
7.) I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
8.) I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

That's it. I totally need to get this sticker for my car.

Now go forth and honor your spaghetti, wont you?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Incompetently Competent.
I have always prided myself on not being one of 'those girls'. You know the ones, they bat their eyelashes and sigh when faced with things like a check engine light and then turn and ask the nearest big, strong man for help.

Yeah, well that shit just doesn't fly, with me. I have made it my policy to not only check the oil, but be able to change it, if required. To change a flat tire rather than wait for a tow truck. Hell, one of my summer jobs as a teenager was at a service station where I not only performed regular oil changes and did tire repairs, but dabbled in the art of the tune-up. Granted, I was merely a lackey for whoever was actually doing the mechanical work, but still, I learned. And I took pride in it.

Most home repair is not something that I balk at. I read the directions and I tackle it. Thankfully, thus far, it has worked out for me. Until this past weekend...

Why is it that no matter what, when something was lodged in the garbage disposal, I am rendered entirely useless? I absolutely cannot bring myself to stick my hand down into that unknown abyss and find out what the problem is. I just cant do it.

It's a good thing that my very own big strong man is home now!

As his punishment for leaving me in that situation, I made him take me golfing yesterday..and then out to dinner.

Remind me to tell him about the garbage disposal tonight when he gets home from work, will you?

Friday, September 14, 2007
Let Me Apologize, In Advance.
1. I am seriously behind the times and trend in my start of this 100 things.
2. I have no doubt that the majority of the people reading this don't really give a shit about what is on here.
3. I am prone to extreme bouts of anxiety.
4. I have learned how to control my anxiety--or talk myself down, if you will.
5. I learned after trying some prescription drugs that -really- messed me up, rather than help me.
6. I very painfully weaned myself off of effexor.
7. I wouldn't recommend anyone else do the same.
8. I absolutely adore my husband, even when he is a huge pain in my ass.
9. He is usually a HUGE pain in my ass.
10. He makes me laugh as no one else can and is truly my best friend, as cliche as that sounds.
11. The only other person I know whose sense of humor is nearly as honed is my sons.
12. There is a lot of laughter in our house.
13. I believe it is what keeps us the most together.
14. I very rarely have to castigate my son about anything.
15. He is an extremely thoughtful and caring young man.
16. I once worried about his health because he was always so hungry when he was a little boy.
17. I learned, however, he was going without his lunch as he would put it on the table for the 'poor kids' instead of eating it.
18. I started packing two lunches.
19. This is entirely reflective of his nature.
20. I'm pretty proud of the little bastard.
21. I have always had very curly, auburn hair that leans to red.
22. I stake my claim in the world of the red-heads, even though it probably isn't quite mine.
23. I have the fabled fiery temper belonging to the group--short fuse, quick to burn and instant forgiveness.
24. I have the mouth of a truck driver, much to the chagrin of some.
25. I don't see what the big deal about it is. I know when to be a lady, but really, is there any word more expressive than 'fuck'?
26. I kind of love that word.
27. I am immensely pleased with my lot in life.
28. I am perfectly content being a wife and a mother, although I loved working too.
29. I am really looking forward to continuing my education and getting back into the workforce.
30. I have the distinct advantage of not being pressured, as I wont be doing it for the income.
31. This is an extremely lucky place to be.
32. I am aware of exactly how blessed and fortunate I am.
33. Growing up, I was the most social creature on the planet.
34. Grown up, I am far more reclusive and relish in silence.
35. Solitude is bliss to me, most days.
36. My need for socialization is met quite nicely through interaction with total strangers.
37. I am very much of the mindset that a couple true friends are far more valuable than many acquaintances.
38. I am not afraid to search out the new, true friends.
39. I was once, as a pedestrian, hit by a very big, fast moving truck.
40. I should probably have died, but was spared, with relatively few injuries.
41. I have always wondered why I didn't die that day, what purpose I have in life.
42. I worry that I am not living out that purpose--that I missed the big flashing neon direction sign somewhere along the way.
43. I am afraid of the dark.
44. I don't buy into women's lib.
45. I am perfectly okay with that and don't feel the need to justify.
46. I do not vote.
47. I do not have the right to vote, in this Country.
48. Even while living in Canada, I only ever voted once.
49. I scratch my head now, as to why.
50. There is a certain freedom in begging off any political opinion.
51. I would LOVE to be able to vote in this Country.
52. I am doing everything in my power to ensure that will happen one day.
53. I long to be an American Citizen.
54. Not because of any disloyalty to my own Country.
55. I decided as a child, upon watching the Neal Diamond movie 'The Jazz Singer', that I wanted to live here when I grew up.
56. I was eleven.
57. The clincher was the song 'America'.
58. I really dig Neil Diamond, even today.
59. My musical taste is varied.
60. And really, kind of shitty.
61. For the most part music equates to noise, for me.
62. I do not like noise.
63. At all.
64. I love to cook.
65. I also love to eat.
66. I have dieted forever, as a result of this love and some other things.
67. My favorite foods are salty.
68. I would take savory over sweet, any day of the week.
69. I have no thyroid.
70. I had it surgically removed, several years ago.
71. I am artistically inclined and love to draw and paint.
72. I have done neither in years.
73. Mostly due to laziness, partly due to life getting in the way.
74. I fear disappointing people.
75. I have been known to people please to a fault.
76. Often times at the expense of my own well-being.
77. I have grown out of this, to a degree.
78. I have an exceptionally hard time saying no.
79. It pains me to do so, but I do.
80. I have learned that not to means suffering, in the long run.
81. My one true regret in life is being such an asshole as a student.
82. I spent far too much time doing anything BUT studying.
83. I wish I could have a do-over.
84. I have always regretted not having more children.
85. My husband has not.
86. It was oft a point of consternation in our house.
87. I came to terms with it.
88. He is glad.
89. His family is not.
90. Our son is his greatest source of pride. He parents him by choice, not by birthright, as we were a package deal. This speaks volumes about his character and I am pretty proud of that bastard, as well.
91. I am not fond of comedy. Mostly, it frustrates me. Especially slapstick.
92. I have often been told I need to smile more.
93. That shocks me every time, as I believe I am a pretty happy person.
94. I am a morning person.
95. I need 8 hours of sleep each night.
96. I do not sleep well.
97. I pee more than anyone I know. Like 4 times each night, usually, and countless times throughout the day.
98. I imagine you are very pleased that I shared that with you.
99. Let me top that one by sharing that I have IBS--pretty severely.
100. I can't believe I actually made it to 100.
101. I cannot believe you are still reading this. :-P

Thursday, September 13, 2007
You Have Three Wishes...
You know the scenario..

You happen upon a magical lantern and after rubbing some imagined smudge off of it, a genie appears and is ready to grant you three wishes.

Today, I give you two of my husbands wishes, magically granted. Or maybe even all three.

Imagine, if you will, the singing of angelic choirs in heaven as the clouds part and upon a shining beam descends this, his first wish:

Bud Light

Guaranteed only to be understood by my Canadian readers, eh.

His second wish:

To: "The Hubs"
From: IASCA Worldwide, Inc.
Re: 2007 IASCA Finals Invitation

Dear "The Hubs";

Congratulations! You have qualified to compete at, and you are invited to participate in, the 2007 IASCA World Finals to be held in conjunction with the NOPI Nationals in Atlanta, Georgia!

The IASCA Finals will take place on September 15th & 16th, 2007 at the Atlanta Motor Speedway in Hampton, Georgia. You can check in to the event starting Friday, September 14 th at 5:00 pm.

Yada, yada, yada, technical details and other random shit, blah blah blah.

His Third Wish:

Me: Hon, I think you should plan to make the trip solo--you never get away on your own and I think you should just go and have a great time.

Him: SOLD!


I even promised him I wouldn't ever bitch about the noise at a show, ever again. I made this promise in conjunction with my solemnly swearing that I would never again attend one, as this past weekend we attended the State finals; where he took first place--the big gallump. Apparently his car is just sounding that nicely. To my not-so-musically inclined ears, however, I can only hear noise. It isn't even insufferable when you listen to the people that compete in the sound quality classes, as The Hubs does. It can even be quite pleasant. Its when you get the Bass-Boxing and IDBL competitions that it becomes physically painful. You know it is too much when windows are breaking and shit is flying off of cars because of the vibrations. To me, that doesn't take skill, it just takes more money than brains. And no, that wasn't bitching, that was an observation.

ME: Not just your average Jane-housewife! I even detailed his car and took it for an oil change for him, in anticipation of the 'big one'.

Ah, the peace and quiet of not being there--I cannot wait.

And neither can he, I'm sure.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Well, I have decided to make the leap from Blogger to Wordpress and my own domain, so watch in the next little while for some significant changes to this blog, its layout and its content.

Every so often, I sit back and wonder if I will bother continuing here. While I do not keep track of stats, readership, hits and the like; I know that I have very few readers in the grand scheme of things, but the ones I have I kind of like having. The Accidental Anecdote is a pretty intimate place that I started writing at in order to update my family and friends about our lives here in the Sunshine State and as a means of compensating for my craptastic manner of keeping in touch with family and friends in the North Country.

I have decided not only to keep plugging along at it, but to try and take it in a slightly more involved direction.

For this, I'd love it if you would give me some feedback!

A few things I am considering adding to the site are:

Recipes: My own and those of my family and friends that decide they would like to contribute. As I am a stay at home Mom and I love to cook, I like the idea of bringing you, the reader, ideas and easy to follow, illustrated recipes for quick, (mostly)healthful meals that start from scratch, using everday ingredients and finish with satisfaction from all. Perhaps a 'Dining with Dee' section?

Movie Reviews: The Family G does nothing, if not watch a bajillion movies (Note to self: get out more) which we do usually two or three times a week. And since we purchase the vast majority of movies we watch and are not limited by due dates, perhaps I can share the experiences with you as we go along, helping you to skip the really craptastic ones and finding something worthy. Cheesy title of that segment? 'DEE-VD Do's and Don'ts'! Uhm, yeah--gay.

My favorite websites and blogs: Would you like to see where I pass the time on this crazy box? Find some more blogs to add to your daily reading experience? Do something other than pick at your bellybutton lint while bored stiff?

Golf Tips and Tricks: Bahahahahaha! I jest! About the only tip I can give you is keep on keepin on; when it comes to golf. But you people that nay-say, you just have No. Idea. how awesome golf is.

Florida's Best Kept Secrets: Appealing to those planning to vacay here, a rundown Florida's best kept dining secrets, road trips, parks, things to do, etc.

At any rate, I think you get the idea. What say you? Would you like to see more content? Would you like to see me just hush up and float off in a sea of zeros and ones? Please, let me know!

Also, I'd love it if you would take a minute just to say hello, if you have never done so; or hell, even if you have. Maybe I am really just entirely disillusioned and I dont HAVE ANY readers, at all!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007
To get through this without shedding a tear.



Howdy, Y'all!
Don't ask me where that came from, just run with it. Maybe it is my tribute to The South or something...hell if I know.

So, Friday I had the pleasure of meeting someone from the blogosphere, the lovely Miss Britt, who has recently relocated to Florida from Iowa. We met for lunch at Tijuana Flats because it was entirely imperative that I prove to Britt that the ever elusive traditional taco salad exists here in Florida. Traditional as in sans black beans and rice, which while both have merit in Cuban fare, just do NOT belong in your very Americanized taco salad. Suffice it to say I achieved my goal and Britt can now rest easy, being the low-carb gal that she is.

It was a great time and I venture to say that it was the beginnings of a very fun friendship, which is totally amazing. Britt is a very spirited little sprite of a thing, with her outrageously curly blond locks, piercing blue eyes, quick laughter and sometimes caustic but always funny sense of humor. I am so pleased we decided to go for lunch, as nervous as I initially was about it.

Britt also brought her dear friend and new boss, avitable, and much lively conversation and fun ensued. avitable served as a great rain shield, as it was important that we sat outside, Florida weather be damned! Also, avitable comes with a disclaimer. Do NOT go visit his site if you are of the faint of heart. The man is funny as hell and also extremely shocking. Trust me, his tagline reads: Tact is for pussies. Mother? Father? Auntie Lynne? This is solely directed at you guys. Really. Don't say I didn't warn you, not even avitable's family will read his site and he may correct me if I am wrong, but I believe his father requested that he change his url so as not to be in any way associated with it. The US Gov't was going for shock and awe when they invaded Iraq. They should have taken lessons from avitable.

Speaking of shock and awe, lets not forget what day today is, the sixth anniversary of 9/11. I hope that you guys, like I do, remember what was lost and why this Country and its supporters are fighting over there. Take a moment to reflect on things, and be thankful for your freedoms, they come at a great price. While I may not support the fact that we are still in Iraq, the troops will always have my undying support. Some people will say that it is impossible to support the troops if you do not support the war effort, and to that I say bullshit.

And that is pretty much all I have to say about that.

On a decidedly more disgusting note, and something you probably could have pleasantly lived your life blissfully unaware of, the smell of flesh being cauterized is EXACTLY the smell of corn chips. Trust me on that one. I found out yesterday, when I sat holding The Prodigy's hand as he had a small surgery done on his foot that required exactly that. Lets ponder for a moment how pleasant it was for both of us, him lying there while having the procedure and me standing there with full view of his bleeding, open wound as the Dr. cauterized it and smoke slowly filled the room as the ventilation system suddenly stopped.

Frito's, anyone?

Yeah--never again, thanks!

(Oh, HEY! Mom and Dad? You'd really, REALLY, like Britt. She is as bratty as I am and guess what? She is a churchgoing catholic girl! I'm inspired! See, it wasn't your incessant nagging..I mean, gentle guidance!)

(Britt? my parents are forever indebted and would like to buy you presents.)