Tuesday, August 29, 2006
The Top Seven Leesterisms for the week of August 21st
In the car (TL was driving, am safe like that and do not use cell phone in transit. Really.) Upon my calling my Mom to make sure they got home safe and to touch base:

TL:Do you need to do that?
Me:Shush, I'm on the phone.
TL:I'm trying to listen to Soul Brother Kevin! SBK, Koomb-bye-eh!!(Local Talk Radio)
Me:Shush! I'm on the phone! *glare*
TL after call is ended: Dude! I work like 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. Can you not do your talking then and just be quiet when I am at not working??
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

In Costco, making random conversation:

Me: Dude, we are now the parents of a teenager. Thirteen. Can you believe it?
TL while smacking his hands together and rubbing them back and forth: WooHoo! Now the fun begins.
Me: Fun? How so?
TL: Now, his teenage years, is when I get to really piss him off so that he moves out when he is eighteen.
Me: You really piss him off already, riding his ass about everything.
TL: I do it for you honey, then you dont have to mourn the empty nest when you have him 'spread his wings' and move out because he will leave on his own!
Me: *punch* Shaddup asshole!

In Costco, one aisle over from previous conversation, nearing bikes:

Me: Dude, we really need to figure out what to get the kid for his birthday!
TL: Birthday present, shmesent! He gets anything he wants already!
Me: We will buy him a present dear, its what we parents do. How about a new bike?
TL: How about a new air compressor instead? I'll let him look at it in my garage.
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

Yet again in Costco, nearing jewelry aisle:

Me: I know honey, why dont you buy me a diamond?
TL: I know honey, why dont I buy me a new watch?!
Me: Okay, you give up your car audio and we will buy you your watch!
TL: Yeah? Well...how about you give up...electricity and we will buy you a new diamond!
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

On the way to the dog park, with me driving:

TL: You need your right lane.
TL: Slow down.
TL: This is your exit.
TL: Turn right after the overpass.
Me: It's a wonder I manage to get anywhere without you here telling me how to drive!
TL: Do I detect pissiness, or are you talking again?
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

Getting ready to go out Sunday, after I have served him breakfast in bed, showered am ready to get dressed and he is still laying there watching TV:

Me: You planning on getting your lazy ass up anytime soon? And what is it with you guys and having to have your hand down your pants in front of the TV?
TL: We have to make sure the valuables are still there. And it likes to be petted.
Me: hahaha...boys are gross! Get your butt up and into the shower, I want to take Divot to the park!
TL: I bet I can get in the shower right now and STILL beat you getting ready! You take forever in the shower!
Me: That is because I wash, with soap, and am much cleaner than you!
TL, still watching some random old prison movie that he informed me was a classic: Are you talking again??
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

On his way to get in the shower after I went ahead and shut the TV off:

TL: What did ya do that for? I was watching that! (In requisite little boy whiney voice)
Me: Cause I wanna go now?
TL, under his breath: Goofy Bitch.
Me: Did you just call me a goofy bitch?
TL looking guilty: Who, me? Uhhh..no. I said I had uhh...a booty itch! (Looking quite pleased with himself)
Me: *punch* Shaddup, asshole!

Welcome to my world. And no, of course I do not punch my husband for real, just in my mind. We do, however, call each other Dude far too much. Also, Dudes, we adore each other, so no worries. We joust in jest, its fun.


Anonymous H said...

Hilarious! I cannot even begin to tell you the similarities that I see! Can you say SCARY!?!?!?! :o)

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