Thursday, April 12, 2007
In Which I Wax Maudlin
Saturday night at about midnight as The Hubs and I lay in bed, he grumbling about the TV being on while I watched two entirely flamboyant homosexual men pay an exorbitant amount of money to have their kitchen renovated (Which? Some seriously hot bedroom action to choose to write about, wouldn't you agree?), we had a conversation that is not at all uncommon for us. The Hubs HATES when I have the TV or the light on when he is trying to go to sleep. He pisses and moans like the big baby that he is, while I tell him to shhhhh, shush and eventually; shaddup. Reading in bed like I LOVE to do? Out of the question. It just doesn't happen in my house. He starts by asking me to turn out the light and ends up with infuriatingly repeating the words mantra-style and flicking the back of my book. He did give me pause this time, however, and I finally conceded defeat and shut off the damn TV. (Or so he thinks. The show had ended. And the kitchen? Gorgeous.)

He turned over and said: "Dee, I am nearly FORTY YEARS OLD and it is time to go to sleep."

FORTY YEARS OLD.

Can you imagine? Now, he just celebrated his 37th birthday last week, but he is right. He is very nearly forty years old and while that might not seem like that big a deal to some of you, it made my breath catch. For a number of reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that I am fifteen months older than him.

Exactly...which means I will be forty just that much sooner.

Forty Years Old.

You know, I've been giving that whole thing some thought. And it really does not bother me much, the idea of the big 4-0. I love my life. I love where I am in my life and I love the positive changes being made in my life. It is an amazing thing to me. I can honestly say I am at a point in my life that far supersedes where I once thought I would be, and that is amazing to me.

What absolutely shocks me about this though, is how UN-forty-ish I feel. I mean, I don't fancy myself a twenty-something or anything like that, but I am amazed at how little difference there is in the mentality of the last couple decades. I just don't FEEL any older. (Although suddenly, in using the term DECADES, I may have to rethink this post entirely.) I feel much wiser, much more level headed and much more accomplished, certainly, but with those feelings does not come the sense of aging.

It was very recent, as a matter of fact at the Spring Break Nationals in Daytona beach, that I looked down at the crowd walking along perusing the competing vehicles; and it occurred to me that I belonged in a different age category than most of the people there. And it came as a shock. Not an unpleasant one, but still, a shock.

Here's hoping that I can hit that landmark gracefully. And perhaps even have another forty to follow these ones. Hopefully they are as sweet.

As an aside though, I wish my body had the same set as my mind, because IT sure isn't the same as when I was twenty.

The dirty-rotten, betraying bitch that it is.


2 Comments:

Anonymous Momma said...

Hear ya, Dee. When poppabare and I catch sight of ourselves together in the mirror, we giggle and say "look at how cute we are! We're geezers!"
Yup, it's a shock y'all.

Anonymous Molly said...

My friends want to go to Vegas for my 40th...and then they proceeded to share this with me...when I'm 40, Big J will be 20, Middle J will be 16, and baby J will be 8. I could even be a grandma(not ideal...but possible)aaaahhhrrrggg

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