Monday, September 18, 2006
I call Fowl!
Over the course of the weekends here at The Family G, we are fairly predictable in our routines. One of the favorite parts of my weekend, which speaks volumes about my maturity level (or complete lack thereof, yeah yeah), is the Saturday/Sunday morning coffee/breakfast in bed. (Yes, I agree! The husband, he is spoiled COMPLETELY and UTTERLY rotten!) If there is nothing on the golf channel worth watching (I know, right? *yawn*), The Leester and I will catch up on our cartoons. Yes, you heard me right! You would be surprised how enjoyable a few episodes of Sponge Bob or Jimmy Neutron can be!

Well, Jimmy Neutron has a teacher by the name of Miss Fowl, whose mannerisms are very chickenesque (In case you haven't watched him, which, dudes, you are missing out!). In the middle of her speech she will suddenly raise her arms in chicken-wing fashion and let out an astute bawking noise and then slide right back into her regular speech. I, being extremely talented and as previously mentioned, very mature, have mastered the sound of her voice and chickenisms! Something to be proud of, right?

While on our way to our golf game on Sunday, the Leester said something and I answered him in the voice of Miss Fowl with the requisite chicken noise, thereby amusing myself greatly. Am very funny and entertaining, just ask me! Lee laughed and I observed that it was kind of scary how closely I could sound like the cartoon lady. Lee looked at me and completely deadpan, informed me that to him that is what I always sound like so he saw no difference!

The man, he is truly a funny guy. Just disregard his black eye, will you?

In other news, because I know you still have yet to tire of the stories I regale you with of my darling Divot, I bring you the latest! Oh dear people, we have a Jack Russell crisis, I tell you! The vet, he broke my dog, I am convinced of it!

Divot, in the hard, hard life of a pet less loved; went to the vet on Friday to do what every little boy dog dreads having done. Yes, he is now an it-dog. While there he also had all his vaccinations and heart worm testing, yada yada. After a couple hours, I called the vet to see how my little guy was doing and the vet informed me that while under the anesthetic, my doggie stopped breathing for a full minute! While they tell me this will not have an adverse affect on my boy, he has yet to snap out of the groggy, lethargic mess that he was post-surgery!

I am serious! He lays there whimpering and trembling, sleeps all day and wont eat. I tried giving him some plain white rice today, I stood him in front of his food (yes, I had to physically stand him in front of it) and he stood there staring at it. Like he didn't know what to do at his dog bowl. What dog forgets how to eat??

I called the vet and while they tell me this can be a very normal thing, I am concerned! I said I would observe him for the rest of the day and bring him back tomorrow if he has not improved. But! BUT! What if he broke my dog? What if the very smart Divot is now a brain-damaged version of his former self? How will I rectify this???

Let me just tell you this: My dog? He had better NOT be broken or there will be hell to pay. You will read all about it in the headlines, because I will go ballistic.

Just sayin...


1 Comments:

Blogger Dee G. said...

A name other than Gargamel...hmmmn. Oh, I know! how about bitchface? :P

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