I know I said I would regale you with tales of Oldilocks yesterday but I was out. Golfing. That makes 36 holes so far this week, with another 36 minimum intended over the weekend. Ah yes, 'tis the life. Yesterday kind of kicked my arse though, considering it was something like 110 degrees with the heat index. H-O-T hot! But still, so very much fun.
At any rate--For those that do not know, Oldilocks is now permanently in an assisted living place. She is simply unable to live on her own without constant care. She was initially quite displeased by this because, as I'm sure we can all imagine, the total loss of independence after some 96 years has got to sting.
BUT!
But suddenly, little miss Oldilocks doesn't have time for visits from the likes of me or her son, because little miss thang has got herself a suitor! I know, right? It just cracks me up to see her talk of him. She actually gets somewhat flustered and blushes when she talks about him, about how nice he is and how very much she enjoys spending time with him.
I just know that each of you reading this thought to yourselves something along the lines of "Aww, how sweet, she is happy.", or "Aww, how cute.". That was my initial reaction too, actually.
Yeah, well that lasted all of about 5 minutes, until she informed me that her beau was sure to tell her that he could still 'have his little soldier stand at attention'.
*cough*
OLDILOCKS!!!
Dudes--that is just way too much for me to handle, even when you disregard entirely the somewhat disturbing visual that immediately comes to mind...I mean seriously. that is A LOT of wrinkles, people! I very nearly choked on my coffee when she said it, but couldn't refrain from laughing uproariously. Oldilocks, well she giggled like a school girl.
So, imagine my surprise the next day when upon arriving to visit her, I was asked by the staff to speak to both Oldilocks and her Beau about appropriate behavior as one of the caregivers happened upon Oldilocks in various stages of undress with her beau in her apartment.
Uhmmm....yeah. So, now how do I deal with this, when really, I say if you have such limited time left on the earth why not LIVE? We all know she is going to die, she may as well 'die happy' as the old adage goes. Also, when did I become parent to a 96 year old woman, if you please? Oh. My. God.
Seriously though, there are rumblings of marriage from both of them, which REALLY probably wouldn't be a good idea for various reasons and I am currently trying to talk her out of the idea by telling her to just go ahead and live in sin (Hello, convince someone old school to do that, it goes against the grain of everything they believe in, I know, and how.) and while that is a mixed bag, it would be easier than trying to deal with her family if she were to get married...they'd probably try and have her declared incompetent. For reasons that only those with some serious cash understand, when they see such holdings at risk.
I get that, I do...but I think it more important for her to live her last time here on earth knowing happiness, feeling loved and having companionship. I've watched her be lonely for too long and frankly, no amount of money is worth it.
Now, I bet you didn't guess that I would regale you with tales of errrmmm--tail!
*snarfle*
Have a good weekend. You can find me on the links.
At any rate--For those that do not know, Oldilocks is now permanently in an assisted living place. She is simply unable to live on her own without constant care. She was initially quite displeased by this because, as I'm sure we can all imagine, the total loss of independence after some 96 years has got to sting.
BUT!
But suddenly, little miss Oldilocks doesn't have time for visits from the likes of me or her son, because little miss thang has got herself a suitor! I know, right? It just cracks me up to see her talk of him. She actually gets somewhat flustered and blushes when she talks about him, about how nice he is and how very much she enjoys spending time with him.
I just know that each of you reading this thought to yourselves something along the lines of "Aww, how sweet, she is happy.", or "Aww, how cute.". That was my initial reaction too, actually.
Yeah, well that lasted all of about 5 minutes, until she informed me that her beau was sure to tell her that he could still 'have his little soldier stand at attention'.
*cough*
OLDILOCKS!!!
Dudes--that is just way too much for me to handle, even when you disregard entirely the somewhat disturbing visual that immediately comes to mind...I mean seriously. that is A LOT of wrinkles, people! I very nearly choked on my coffee when she said it, but couldn't refrain from laughing uproariously. Oldilocks, well she giggled like a school girl.
So, imagine my surprise the next day when upon arriving to visit her, I was asked by the staff to speak to both Oldilocks and her Beau about appropriate behavior as one of the caregivers happened upon Oldilocks in various stages of undress with her beau in her apartment.
Uhmmm....yeah. So, now how do I deal with this, when really, I say if you have such limited time left on the earth why not LIVE? We all know she is going to die, she may as well 'die happy' as the old adage goes. Also, when did I become parent to a 96 year old woman, if you please? Oh. My. God.
Seriously though, there are rumblings of marriage from both of them, which REALLY probably wouldn't be a good idea for various reasons and I am currently trying to talk her out of the idea by telling her to just go ahead and live in sin (Hello, convince someone old school to do that, it goes against the grain of everything they believe in, I know, and how.) and while that is a mixed bag, it would be easier than trying to deal with her family if she were to get married...they'd probably try and have her declared incompetent. For reasons that only those with some serious cash understand, when they see such holdings at risk.
I get that, I do...but I think it more important for her to live her last time here on earth knowing happiness, feeling loved and having companionship. I've watched her be lonely for too long and frankly, no amount of money is worth it.
Now, I bet you didn't guess that I would regale you with tales of errrmmm--tail!
*snarfle*
Have a good weekend. You can find me on the links.
4 Comments:
omg what a great tale (oops)!!! Creepy, though.
Love it
Hilarious, Dee! I love how you write just like you are telling it to me (or whoever is reading it!). YOU ROCK!
What'd you shoot? Go ahead, brag a bit. I'd love to hear it. And seeing as M is having repeat neck problems and hasn't played in months, I'm actually yearning to hear about someone's golf game, believe it or not! Also, where'd ya play? Hope you had fun!
I can totally understand why Oldilocks would want to get married again... but you're probably right. With the amount of time she has left on the earth, it's probably not really worth the bother for them to get married.
Would the staff be happier if they DID get married? Would they move them into the same room and all? I am just wondering what the issue with their "inappropriate behaviour" is.
I agree, Kait. Knock before entering the apartment.
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