Say Hello To My Little Friend

This little guy was walking along my living room wall and decided to park right there. As a matter of fact, I just checked and he still sits there. I would assist him back outside but he is very close to the ceiling, which is 12ft high. I consider myself lizard friendly, but not so much that I want to go get a ladder out of the garage and haul it upstairs to help him out. Yanno? I suppose he could be stuck there, his little lizard toes caught up in the glaringly obvious dust bunnies that are also up there next to the celing. Which I am sure I should deal with, except it also means getting that same ladder out of the garage. So, naaaah. It can wait till we move in two months. Call me a lazy-ass, I dont care. I'll cope. If it is higher than my height, odds are it wont get dusted between now and then. Judge me, bitches! Hah! Think I care??

Errr....back to the topic at hand!

This is one thing The Family G. fast grew used to, upon our move to Florida, was the skittering of lizards as we went outside; the little guys hustling to get out from underfoot. That and frogs. Well, and alligators too. We had to get used to being watchful for them, not so much them skittering. The gators? They skitter not. But trust me, we do. Except this one time....I'll just show you the pictures and leave it at at that.





I had nightmares for weeks once I was informed they could come straight up out of the water. The Leester and I will NOT be playing with the nice gator ever again. EVER. Not so many of any of them in Canada. Although I am a super big freakazoid about bugs, reptiles do not so much as make me squirm even just a little bit. Assuming that I am not face to face with the big ones, of course.

ANYWAY!

So, there we sat, watching our Thursday line-up with the little lizard looking down on us and I was not troubled even just a little bit. At one point during a commercial break (a.k.a. a pause, since we TIVO all of our shows to avoid the commercials) The Leester rushed in to use the facilities before I could, which he ALWAYS does to annoy me, and upon his exit I ran to do the same. He followed me in there, watched me sit and get ready to tinkle (Too much info, I know, but just work with me. I'm taking this somewhere.) and when I got situated, glared at him and asked "Whaaaaaaat???"; he oh-so-casually told me to look to my left, an odd little smirk upon his face.

Where, sitting at my eye level, STARING AT ME, was a Spider, the size of a friggin quarter!

I instantly shut off the light, got up and ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I may have done all of this with my pants down at my ankles while my husband rolled around on the floor laughing at me. While I cussed at him. Profusely.

Accompanied by the sound of my possibly still cussing at him and definitely still laughing uncontrollably, The Leester went and dealt with the spider.

The Leester's question? Why did I shut off the light? Easy! So the spider couldn't see me! DUH!!!

Consequently, I am tired today. Why, you ask? Wouldn't you be, if you had to sleep with one eye open for fear of the spiders that OBVIOUSLY LIVE UNDER YOUR BED JUST WAITING TO MAKE NESTS IN YOUR HAIR??????

My Husband, the ass. He thinks he is funny. His wife? Thinks he may just die an early death.